Hannah Tries: getting her teeth whitened
I used to hate my teeth. With a passion. They always seemed a bit discoloured, a little like a camel’s. Or an Orc’s from The Lord of the Rings… Self-conscious, over the years I became very adept at smiling with no teeth. In photos, I was often informed that I looked bitchy and miserable. A little harsh, I say. I prefer the term dark and mysterious…
 
After reaching the grand old age of 22, that was it. Enough was enough; something needed to be done. I decided to hit the bleach. (Carefully controlled bleach that is, as administered by the dentist.)
 
I made a date with the London Lingual Orthodontic Centre which, incidentally, is the dentist Kate Middleton visits to get her teeth so bloody perfect. Thus, obviously, so I was expecting to emerge after my appointment with some up-to-princess-standard nashers.
 
Moulds were made of my teeth and I was given a set of bleach-filled syringes to take away with me. The idea was to paint my teeth with the gel before covering them with the moulds. When the gel and the moulds were in place I could go about my business, looking and speaking like I’d been punched in the face, until the bleach had worked it’s magic. I was to repeat the process every day or so until my teeth had reached their desired level of whiteness. 
 
It took a while, about three weeks. It also cost a lot, about £450. But it was so worth it. I cannot stop smiling. I’m starting to look a little unhinged…
 
Simon Cowell eat your heart out.

Hannah Tries: getting her teeth whitened

I used to hate my teeth. With a passion. They always seemed a bit discoloured, a little like a camel’s. Or an Orc’s from The Lord of the Rings… Self-conscious, over the years I became very adept at smiling with no teeth. In photos, I was often informed that I looked bitchy and miserable. A little harsh, I say. I prefer the term dark and mysterious…

 

After reaching the grand old age of 22, that was it. Enough was enough; something needed to be done. I decided to hit the bleach. (Carefully controlled bleach that is, as administered by the dentist.)

 

I made a date with the London Lingual Orthodontic Centre which, incidentally, is the dentist Kate Middleton visits to get her teeth so bloody perfect. Thus, obviously, so I was expecting to emerge after my appointment with some up-to-princess-standard nashers.

 

Moulds were made of my teeth and I was given a set of bleach-filled syringes to take away with me. The idea was to paint my teeth with the gel before covering them with the moulds. When the gel and the moulds were in place I could go about my business, looking and speaking like I’d been punched in the face, until the bleach had worked it’s magic. I was to repeat the process every day or so until my teeth had reached their desired level of whiteness.

 

It took a while, about three weeks. It also cost a lot, about £450. But it was so worth it. I cannot stop smiling. I’m starting to look a little unhinged…

 

Simon Cowell eat your heart out.

Hannah Tries: leaving university to live, away from most of her friends and family, in a massive city that she doesn’t know very well; working an evening job so she can stay, pay rent and carry on doing the day job she loves; realising that she now has to plan her life about three weeks in advance; using the back catalogue of Beyoncé as an emotional crutch when the boy she thought she would probably marry one day turns out not to really give that much of a shit about her at all; deciding that she probably needs therapy but instead drowning her sorrows in expensive face serums and nail varnish; and all the while attempting to not have a nervous breakdown.
 
It’s going well…

Hannah Tries: leaving university to live, away from most of her friends and family, in a massive city that she doesn’t know very well; working an evening job so she can stay, pay rent and carry on doing the day job she loves; realising that she now has to plan her life about three weeks in advance; using the back catalogue of Beyoncé as an emotional crutch when the boy she thought she would probably marry one day turns out not to really give that much of a shit about her at all; deciding that she probably needs therapy but instead drowning her sorrows in expensive face serums and nail varnish; and all the while attempting to not have a nervous breakdown.

 

It’s going well…

Hannah Tries: the dip-dye re-dye
Boredom. All of my best ideas come out of boredom. This one was no exception. 
My hair was the culprit; the brown to blonde dip-dye that had adorned my head for two years was beginning to annoy me. Opening Heat magazine one day to read that dip-dyes were “out” was the final straw. I reached for the scissors… and then promptly put them down. I am not James Brown.
Being a tonsurephobe (a big word for saying I don’t like getting my hair cut), I didn’t want to chop the blonde ends off, even though my spilt ends were forming split ends of their own. I also didn’t feel quite ready to dye it back to its natural brown. So, in a wholly rational and mature move, I decided to re-dye my dip-dye pink. Yes, pink - a light and terribly on-trend pastel pink to be exact.
I reached for the new L’Oreal Feria Toner in Pink Panther and, before you could say My Little Pony, emptied the contents onto the ends of my hair. Three to five washes it promised; a change without commitment. What could possibly go wrong…?
The answer my friends is nothing. Look at me; I look like Baby Spice. 
Amazing.

Hannah Tries: the dip-dye re-dye

Boredom. All of my best ideas come out of boredom. This one was no exception. 

My hair was the culprit; the brown to blonde dip-dye that had adorned my head for two years was beginning to annoy me. Opening Heat magazine one day to read that dip-dyes were “out” was the final straw. I reached for the scissors… and then promptly put them down. I am not James Brown.

Being a tonsurephobe (a big word for saying I don’t like getting my hair cut), I didn’t want to chop the blonde ends off, even though my spilt ends were forming split ends of their own. I also didn’t feel quite ready to dye it back to its natural brown. So, in a wholly rational and mature move, I decided to re-dye my dip-dye pink. Yes, pink - a light and terribly on-trend pastel pink to be exact.

I reached for the new L’Oreal Feria Toner in Pink Panther and, before you could say My Little Pony, emptied the contents onto the ends of my hair. Three to five washes it promised; a change without commitment. What could possibly go wrong…?

The answer my friends is nothing. Look at me; I look like Baby Spice. 

Amazing.

"The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy…"

— Yves Saint Laurent

Hannah Tries: meeting James Arthur 
He’s only the winner of the X Factor, meeting James Arthur is sooo not a big deal. 
Look at those eyelashes though. 
Be cool, be cool, be cool… 
“What’s your name?” he asks. 
“Will you marry me?” I reply. 
Dammit.

Hannah Tries: meeting James Arthur 

He’s only the winner of the X Factor, meeting James Arthur is sooo not a big deal. 

Look at those eyelashes though. 

Be cool, be cool, be cool… 

“What’s your name?” he asks. 

“Will you marry me?” I reply. 

Dammit.

Hannah Tries: Being an intern… part three

“I really fancy some cupcakes,” says Kelly the junior stylist, “would you mind nipping to Marks and Spencer to grab some?” It’s 3pm on a Wednesday and the fashion team are lagging. Sophie, the fashion assistant, is on a diet and, having consumed only a few salad leaves all day, is grumpy. The mere mention of the word “cupcakes” sends her deeper into a funk. “What kind of cupcakes would you like?” I ask Kelly, trying not to look into Sophie’s eyes for fear of being turned to stone. “Oh any,” she replies, flicking me a fiver and turning back to the Daily Mail website.

I rush to Marks and Spencer and fight my way through the suits to the cake aisle. Standing in front of the frosting and sponge, I am faced with a choice. Bollocks, I think. I hate choices. What do I pick? Do I get the pack of four strawberry cupcakes in their little pink cases? Do I get the pack of nine mini vanilla cupcakes? Or, should I be festive and buy the limited edition Jubilee cupcakes, flavour unknown, with the sprinkles of hundreds and thousands? I chew the inside of my mouth. Choosing cupcakes shouldn’t be this difficult.

Several minutes pass and I’m still there, looking at the cupcakes with a worried expression. Oh sod it, I mutter under my breath, and opt for vanilla. You can’t go wrong with vanilla, I think. After all, the world’s favourite ice cream flavour is vanilla, isn’t it? Plus, they’re mini and everyone loves things when they’re mini. Puppies, miniature pigs, cupcakes… Perhaps even Sophie will treat herself to one.

Upon my return to the fashion department, I present Kelly with her cupcakes. She tries to frown, but the Botox stops her. “Oh,” she says, looking at the box, “why didn’t you get chocolate ones?” There were none, I tell her. She looks at me like I’m lying. From across the desk, Sophie looks at me like I’ve just picked up her family dog and hammer-thrown it into the Thames. I try give her the box again. She looks at it like I’m offering her a box of cupcakes I made myself out of soil. “Never mind,” she sighs and directs me back to my desk with a flick of her head. 

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months"

— Oscar Wilde

Hannah Tries: Interviewing Spencer Matthews and Jamie Laing (with Susanna Wood)
*this interview is from a little while ago, but I thought I’d pop it on here anyway!
Are the friendships we see on camera true friendships?
Jamie: Spencer’s my boy, he’s my brother so obviously to be with your best friend on camera, there’s nothing better in the world, you know what I mean?
Spencer: 100% real. Relationships… she has some nice shorts (Spencer’s attention wanders towards a leggy blonde)… sorry…no, all the relationships and friendships are 100% real.
How much of Made in Chelsea is made up for the cameras? Are there any people that you’ve been made to talk to?
Spencer: No, not really. In certain situations you’d perhaps have to speak to someone who you might not have otherwise, for continuity in the storylines. We have a little bit of guidance on how the shoe should run, but on the whole it’s pretty real.
Do you mind being referred to as a reality TV star or do you see yourself as something different?
Spencer: Kind of, I mean, lots of us have real jobs. I’m a foreign exchange trader in the city and the show is very much an aside. For other people, its acting as a vessel for their aspirations and ideas. For instance, Jamie wants to launch a sweet milkshake shop. He’s the heir to Mcvities isn’t he…so it runs in the family.
Out of interest, what is your favourite type of biscuit?
Spencer: Let’s give you kinds of biscuit…
Jamie: (to Hannah) Okay, so I reckon that you’re like a dark chocolate hobnob.
Okay…why?
Jamie: You’re really sweet but at the same time you have a dark side.
(Suze) That’s very spot on Hannah!
Jamie: …And with you (to Suze), you’re a hobnob caramel, unbelievably tasty on the outside but on the inside you’re a bit, like, dark…
Spencer: HA! So basically…they’re the same?
(Hannah) How fucking dare you.
Spencer: And Jamie’s a jammy dodger!
Jamie: You know it girl!
So, Spencer, what are you?
Jamie: Spencer’s a jaffa cake. He was once a little bit dodgy…a little bit chubby…but now he’s trim as fuck!
Which leads us nicely onto something else we wanted to talk about – your new look. What happened? Why did you change? Was it because you saw yourself on TV and thought “Oh Lord…”?
You look so different.
Spencer: I didn’t really change… I’ll tell you what happened. I always try to keep athletic and stuff usually but given the fact that the first season came at the same time I accepted the job in the city as a foreign exchange trader it turned out that I didn’t really have much time to look after my health. So I come across as looking slightly…different…to how I usually look, like I look now.
So this is your normal look? You look good!
Spencer: I’m glad to hear that.
Jamie: Don’t tell him that!
Is there much rivalry? You have a lot of love interests…
Spencer: Well, no, my main love interest has always and will always be Caggie.
Jamie: (jumps off his seat) HE’S IN LOVE!
Spencer:…I’ve pretty much been in love with Caggie my whole life. We got together very young and its quite daunting for two people to try be together from such a young age.
Are you uncomfortable with your relationship being portrayed, played out in front of the cameras?
Spencer: Yes. This season I think will show me in a new light, having less games, less plans.
Jamie: Less schemes.
Plan B?
Spencer: Plan backfire.
Hannah: Brilliant.
Spencer: Jamie actually met Caggie long before I did and actually had a thing with her.
How old were you when you met Caggie?
Spencer: 17.
Jamie: And I was about 15.
How did you two guys meet?
Jamie: We hated each other!
Spencer: Hated, hated!
Oh dear…why?
Spencer: I think it was just a clash of competition, of egos.
Jamie: A good friend of his, who went to school with him, went out with my ex girlfriend. On a night out, we met each other, you know how it goes, young kids being idiots get aggressive… Anyway, since then we’ve been like brothers dude!
Spencer: It’s all changed since then.
Have you ever gone for the same girl again?
Spencer: No!
Jamie: Well…
Oh?
Spencer: You’ll find out, you have to watch the programme.
Dammit. Okay… So at the moment, you’re sleeping with Louise?
Spencer: Louise is my ex girlfriend.
Ex ex ex?
Spencer: She’s obviously more than one ex…
You love going back.
Spencer: I go back as long as it’s very clear, the laws laid down. I wouldn’t go back out with an ex girlfriend but if we’re close friends and we’re both single, and we obviously enjoy each others…company…then who says it can’t happen again? But if it didn’t work the first time, there’s probably no point in trying again, in my opinion. I wouldn’t lock anything down.
There’s a reason they’re exes.
Spencer: Thanks dark chocolate hobnob.
You’re welcome jaffa cake. And hey, jammy dodger, how does it feel to be compared to the new Joey Essex?
Spencer: You must love that shit!
Jamie: I’m Jamie. He’s Joey Essex. There is no comparison at all!
Is there a rivalry between your shows?
Spencer: Between the two shows there isn’t rivalry as they’re pretty different. I personally, given my timetable, haven’t watched any of The Only Way Is Essex. Mark used to do a bit of work with us before any of us were going to be on TV so it’s quite funny that we get compared to each other now.
How funny!
Spencer: I like Mark. I don’t mind the Essex lot at all. I haven’t watched it. but its very difficult to compare the two, I think…
What made you get into reality TV?
Spencer: I’ve always wanted to be an actor, I went to USC film school. Finance came about kind of by default and I figured that a bit of experience in front of a camera could be interesting and might rekindle the old flame in my love for acting. So, we’ll see where it goes…
So, next stop movies?
Spencer: In the dream yes, it would be movies.
Jamie: We could move to LA and party!
Are you a celebrity?
Jamie: We’re not, you know, celebrities. We’re reality TV stars.
Spencer: I think the word celebrity is a bit strong. I personally consider myself to be a working guy in finance so to be considered a celebrity is weird. I think we all enjoy the recognition though, especially Jamie. Jamie and I perhaps more than the others, Jamie especially.
Jamie: Yeaaaah!
Spencer: But personally, I see people knowing your name, saying “Hi” when you walk past a club, is a sign of them loving the show. It just means people have appreciated the work we’ve put into it.
Has there been any negative responses?
Jamie: I think always with good press you’re going to get bad press. I think if you’re strong skinned, you roll with it. if you’re not, if you’re arrogant and a dickhead…
Spencer: How do you fare then?
Jamie: OI! Haha!
Oh jammy dodger…
Jamie: Everyone loves a jammy dodger!
Spencer: You’ll get the occasional bad comment, there’s a lot of people out there, especially given the economic climate, that watch a show like Chelsea and might feela bit hard done by, a bit jealous…
It is very accepting of wealth.
Spencer: You have to just take that with a pinch of salt, realise that we’re all just doing our job and our friendships/relationships are real and that is what people really care about. That’s what is important to viewers, I feel, more so that how thick our wallets are. People care more about why Hugo’s with Milly, why I’m with Caggie…
How is it juggling a private and public life?
Spencer: I’m not a particularly private person. I don’t really like being alone.
Jamie: He hates being alone.
Spencer: People reading about me isn’t the type of thing which bothers me at all. Some people get really freaked out. Some people say stuff that isn’t even real about me, but what are you going to do? Call the paper up? No. It’s already gone out. You have to just understand that’s what happens and it’s something that just flows off my back.
Like water off a duck?
Spencer: Like water of a duck.
I think some celebrities feel quite resentful of the media, do you feel it’s a tool?
Spencer: If you get hit with something particularly untrue, it can be a bit cutting, but the majority of it is quite light hearted. Like will they, won’t they? Caggie, Spencer… He said this, she said that. As long as your relationship is close enough so you can call her and say “it’s not true” and for her to believe you, then it’s fine.
You know you’ve made it when you’ve earnt the nickname Scraggie…
Jamie: My boy’s hit the big time!
Spencer: It’s Spaggie.
Oh yeah. That would make more sense…
Spencer: Scraggie is actually Caggie’s fake Twitter account. I have one as well. We all have fake accounts, that’s why we have to get verified.
People posing as you? That must be a bit bizarre…
Spencer: Yes! If you go to @SpencerMIC that’s not me! It’s some guy with a picture of me in sunglasses!
Jamie: And he tweets fucking hilarious things.
Spencer: He’s like, “I’m at Chelsea football club with Hugo” and I’m like really, I’m at work.
Do you follow him?
Spencer: I do, so I can keep on top of what he’s saying! I’m going to get him deleted as soon as I can!
Jamie: You get so angry about it man.
Spencer: It’s because it’s annoying! One thing I pride myself on is that I work hard and so when someone says I’m just chilling on the Kings Road at 2pm on a Monday it’s just like, I’m not!
Jamie: Spencer’s one of the most driven people I know. Very, very driven. A good thing, I think.
(To Jamie) Are you equally as motivated?
Jamie: I want to open up a sweet shop!
Spencer: Jamie’s aspirations and dreams are more vivid than and that’s great. At the heart, mine is business so it will be bigger when it takes off. On a day to day basis I get more done, but I think Jamie’s dream could get realised quicker.
So what is the dream?
Jamie: Sugar and Shake exclusive! So, I want to open up a sweet shop and a milkshake shop.
Is this because you particularly like this kind of food?
Spencer: He loves sugar…
And obviously it’s in your roots.
Jamie: It is indeed. It’s going to be big!
I hope we’re going to get an invite to the opening…
Jamie: You guys, for sure! 100% it’s going to be a red carpet event. It’s going to be all out. 
Wicked!
Can we take some photos of you?
Jamie: If you want my top off, you can have it off…
If you could both take them off, that would be nice.
Spencer: We’ll look like Geordie Shore!
How is the girl attention?
Spencer: (beaming) It feels nice. A part of wanting to be an actor as a kid is the recognition so we get a similar vibe from this as we would if we were acting.
Is it scripted?
Spencer: It’s called scripted reality. We never really have words on a page.
Jamie: When you’re younger, everyone wants to be famous, that’s the dream, and a lot of people never let go of the dream so when you actually become famous, even slightly famous, there’s an adrenaline you get!
Spencer: I find it nicer that when you come to a place like this (Come Play at TAO) in Norwich and find that guys come up and ask for a photo, that’s cool to me. I’d expect every guy to hate me. I’d semi expect girls to be like “omg, you’re that guy from Made In Chelsea”, that’s kind of normal. But if a guy says, “dude I think you’re a legend” it’s really nice!
Jamie: If we were in the opposite position, we’d go and say “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”
Spencer: For people to appreciate it is really cool. The show is so well made, the production have these Japanese cameras…
It is awesome cinematography.
Spencer: These cameras haven’t been used for any other TV show in England. It’s very well made. The directors, the cameras, it’s so professional. Mic-ing you up takes like ten minutes! They’re really into it. It’s those differences which make a big difference between us and say The Only Way Is Essex or Geordie Shore. Chelsea can be quite beautiful to watch, and that’s nothing to do with us!
There are some beautifyl shots of London.
Spencer: Some of the shots of London are from a camera strapped to my car when I’ve been driving around. Because they need me in the mirror shots. So I’m driving around and I have the monitor next to me and I’m watching and thinking this is going to look beautiful. It feels nice to be a part of that.
Jamie: I think also, they have a really good mixture of drama and reality. It’s a dramality!
Hello Oxford English Dictionary!
Spencer: Copyrighting that! It’s difficult to get it right the first time. The show lacks, in my opinion, a few things. The Hills is incredibly popular but it also lacks some things. It’s about finding the right balance of real lives and emotions and drama. Without being Eastenders.
Jamie: If you watch the first episode of the Hills, the filming is terrible. But you were intrigued by it. The same goes for Made In Chelsea, there’s a big difference between the first and second seasons.
Spencer: It’s the whole fly on the wall scenario, people watch Big Brother because they like seeing people be natural. Our show many not come across as natural or real as we’ve just woken up but the friendships and relationships couldn’t be more real.
That’s why people care.
Spencer: Otherwise it would be shit. I also believe that Hugo cries in the next episode…
Does he?! Brilliant!
Spencer: That’s real for you, I’m not sure he could turn it on like that, especially with a camera in his face.
Do you think you could cry on tap?
Jamie: Do you want me to cry now?
Yes please.
Spencer: Think of your biscuit factory burning down…

Hannah Tries: Interviewing Spencer Matthews and Jamie Laing (with Susanna Wood)

*this interview is from a little while ago, but I thought I’d pop it on here anyway!

Are the friendships we see on camera true friendships?

Jamie: Spencer’s my boy, he’s my brother so obviously to be with your best friend on camera, there’s nothing better in the world, you know what I mean?

Spencer: 100% real. Relationships… she has some nice shorts (Spencer’s attention wanders towards a leggy blonde)… sorry…no, all the relationships and friendships are 100% real.

How much of Made in Chelsea is made up for the cameras? Are there any people that you’ve been made to talk to?

Spencer: No, not really. In certain situations you’d perhaps have to speak to someone who you might not have otherwise, for continuity in the storylines. We have a little bit of guidance on how the shoe should run, but on the whole it’s pretty real.

Do you mind being referred to as a reality TV star or do you see yourself as something different?

Spencer: Kind of, I mean, lots of us have real jobs. I’m a foreign exchange trader in the city and the show is very much an aside. For other people, its acting as a vessel for their aspirations and ideas. For instance, Jamie wants to launch a sweet milkshake shop. He’s the heir to Mcvities isn’t he…so it runs in the family.

Out of interest, what is your favourite type of biscuit?

Spencer: Let’s give you kinds of biscuit…

Jamie: (to Hannah) Okay, so I reckon that you’re like a dark chocolate hobnob.

Okay…why?

Jamie: You’re really sweet but at the same time you have a dark side.

(Suze) That’s very spot on Hannah!

Jamie: …And with you (to Suze), you’re a hobnob caramel, unbelievably tasty on the outside but on the inside you’re a bit, like, dark…

Spencer: HA! So basically…they’re the same?

(Hannah) How fucking dare you.

Spencer: And Jamie’s a jammy dodger!

Jamie: You know it girl!

So, Spencer, what are you?

Jamie: Spencer’s a jaffa cake. He was once a little bit dodgy…a little bit chubby…but now he’s trim as fuck!

Which leads us nicely onto something else we wanted to talk about – your new look. What happened? Why did you change? Was it because you saw yourself on TV and thought “Oh Lord…”?

You look so different.

Spencer: I didn’t really change… I’ll tell you what happened. I always try to keep athletic and stuff usually but given the fact that the first season came at the same time I accepted the job in the city as a foreign exchange trader it turned out that I didn’t really have much time to look after my health. So I come across as looking slightly…different…to how I usually look, like I look now.

So this is your normal look? You look good!

Spencer: I’m glad to hear that.

Jamie: Don’t tell him that!

Is there much rivalry? You have a lot of love interests…

Spencer: Well, no, my main love interest has always and will always be Caggie.

Jamie: (jumps off his seat) HE’S IN LOVE!

Spencer:…I’ve pretty much been in love with Caggie my whole life. We got together very young and its quite daunting for two people to try be together from such a young age.

Are you uncomfortable with your relationship being portrayed, played out in front of the cameras?

Spencer: Yes. This season I think will show me in a new light, having less games, less plans.

Jamie: Less schemes.

Plan B?

Spencer: Plan backfire.

Hannah: Brilliant.

Spencer: Jamie actually met Caggie long before I did and actually had a thing with her.

How old were you when you met Caggie?

Spencer: 17.

Jamie: And I was about 15.

How did you two guys meet?

Jamie: We hated each other!

Spencer: Hated, hated!

Oh dear…why?

Spencer: I think it was just a clash of competition, of egos.

Jamie: A good friend of his, who went to school with him, went out with my ex girlfriend. On a night out, we met each other, you know how it goes, young kids being idiots get aggressive… Anyway, since then we’ve been like brothers dude!

Spencer: It’s all changed since then.

Have you ever gone for the same girl again?

Spencer: No!

Jamie: Well…

Oh?

Spencer: You’ll find out, you have to watch the programme.

Dammit. Okay… So at the moment, you’re sleeping with Louise?

Spencer: Louise is my ex girlfriend.

Ex ex ex?

Spencer: She’s obviously more than one ex…

You love going back.

Spencer: I go back as long as it’s very clear, the laws laid down. I wouldn’t go back out with an ex girlfriend but if we’re close friends and we’re both single, and we obviously enjoy each others…company…then who says it can’t happen again? But if it didn’t work the first time, there’s probably no point in trying again, in my opinion. I wouldn’t lock anything down.

There’s a reason they’re exes.

Spencer: Thanks dark chocolate hobnob.

You’re welcome jaffa cake. And hey, jammy dodger, how does it feel to be compared to the new Joey Essex?

Spencer: You must love that shit!

Jamie: I’m Jamie. He’s Joey Essex. There is no comparison at all!

Is there a rivalry between your shows?

Spencer: Between the two shows there isn’t rivalry as they’re pretty different. I personally, given my timetable, haven’t watched any of The Only Way Is Essex. Mark used to do a bit of work with us before any of us were going to be on TV so it’s quite funny that we get compared to each other now.

How funny!

Spencer: I like Mark. I don’t mind the Essex lot at all. I haven’t watched it. but its very difficult to compare the two, I think…

What made you get into reality TV?

Spencer: I’ve always wanted to be an actor, I went to USC film school. Finance came about kind of by default and I figured that a bit of experience in front of a camera could be interesting and might rekindle the old flame in my love for acting. So, we’ll see where it goes…

So, next stop movies?

Spencer: In the dream yes, it would be movies.

Jamie: We could move to LA and party!

Are you a celebrity?

Jamie: We’re not, you know, celebrities. We’re reality TV stars.

Spencer: I think the word celebrity is a bit strong. I personally consider myself to be a working guy in finance so to be considered a celebrity is weird. I think we all enjoy the recognition though, especially Jamie. Jamie and I perhaps more than the others, Jamie especially.

Jamie: Yeaaaah!

Spencer: But personally, I see people knowing your name, saying “Hi” when you walk past a club, is a sign of them loving the show. It just means people have appreciated the work we’ve put into it.

Has there been any negative responses?

Jamie: I think always with good press you’re going to get bad press. I think if you’re strong skinned, you roll with it. if you’re not, if you’re arrogant and a dickhead…

Spencer: How do you fare then?

Jamie: OI! Haha!

Oh jammy dodger…

Jamie: Everyone loves a jammy dodger!

Spencer: You’ll get the occasional bad comment, there’s a lot of people out there, especially given the economic climate, that watch a show like Chelsea and might feela bit hard done by, a bit jealous…

It is very accepting of wealth.

Spencer: You have to just take that with a pinch of salt, realise that we’re all just doing our job and our friendships/relationships are real and that is what people really care about. That’s what is important to viewers, I feel, more so that how thick our wallets are. People care more about why Hugo’s with Milly, why I’m with Caggie…

How is it juggling a private and public life?

Spencer: I’m not a particularly private person. I don’t really like being alone.

Jamie: He hates being alone.

Spencer: People reading about me isn’t the type of thing which bothers me at all. Some people get really freaked out. Some people say stuff that isn’t even real about me, but what are you going to do? Call the paper up? No. It’s already gone out. You have to just understand that’s what happens and it’s something that just flows off my back.

Like water off a duck?

Spencer: Like water of a duck.

I think some celebrities feel quite resentful of the media, do you feel it’s a tool?

Spencer: If you get hit with something particularly untrue, it can be a bit cutting, but the majority of it is quite light hearted. Like will they, won’t they? Caggie, Spencer… He said this, she said that. As long as your relationship is close enough so you can call her and say “it’s not true” and for her to believe you, then it’s fine.

You know you’ve made it when you’ve earnt the nickname Scraggie…

Jamie: My boy’s hit the big time!

Spencer: It’s Spaggie.

Oh yeah. That would make more sense…

Spencer: Scraggie is actually Caggie’s fake Twitter account. I have one as well. We all have fake accounts, that’s why we have to get verified.

People posing as you? That must be a bit bizarre…

Spencer: Yes! If you go to @SpencerMIC that’s not me! It’s some guy with a picture of me in sunglasses!

Jamie: And he tweets fucking hilarious things.

Spencer: He’s like, “I’m at Chelsea football club with Hugo” and I’m like really, I’m at work.

Do you follow him?

Spencer: I do, so I can keep on top of what he’s saying! I’m going to get him deleted as soon as I can!

Jamie: You get so angry about it man.

Spencer: It’s because it’s annoying! One thing I pride myself on is that I work hard and so when someone says I’m just chilling on the Kings Road at 2pm on a Monday it’s just like, I’m not!

Jamie: Spencer’s one of the most driven people I know. Very, very driven. A good thing, I think.

(To Jamie) Are you equally as motivated?

Jamie: I want to open up a sweet shop!

Spencer: Jamie’s aspirations and dreams are more vivid than and that’s great. At the heart, mine is business so it will be bigger when it takes off. On a day to day basis I get more done, but I think Jamie’s dream could get realised quicker.

So what is the dream?

Jamie: Sugar and Shake exclusive! So, I want to open up a sweet shop and a milkshake shop.

Is this because you particularly like this kind of food?

Spencer: He loves sugar…

And obviously it’s in your roots.

Jamie: It is indeed. It’s going to be big!

I hope we’re going to get an invite to the opening…

Jamie: You guys, for sure! 100% it’s going to be a red carpet event. It’s going to be all out. 

Wicked!

Can we take some photos of you?

Jamie: If you want my top off, you can have it off…

If you could both take them off, that would be nice.

Spencer: We’ll look like Geordie Shore!

How is the girl attention?

Spencer: (beaming) It feels nice. A part of wanting to be an actor as a kid is the recognition so we get a similar vibe from this as we would if we were acting.

Is it scripted?

Spencer: It’s called scripted reality. We never really have words on a page.

Jamie: When you’re younger, everyone wants to be famous, that’s the dream, and a lot of people never let go of the dream so when you actually become famous, even slightly famous, there’s an adrenaline you get!

Spencer: I find it nicer that when you come to a place like this (Come Play at TAO) in Norwich and find that guys come up and ask for a photo, that’s cool to me. I’d expect every guy to hate me. I’d semi expect girls to be like “omg, you’re that guy from Made In Chelsea”, that’s kind of normal. But if a guy says, “dude I think you’re a legend” it’s really nice!

Jamie: If we were in the opposite position, we’d go and say “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”

Spencer: For people to appreciate it is really cool. The show is so well made, the production have these Japanese cameras…

It is awesome cinematography.

Spencer: These cameras haven’t been used for any other TV show in England. It’s very well made. The directors, the cameras, it’s so professional. Mic-ing you up takes like ten minutes! They’re really into it. It’s those differences which make a big difference between us and say The Only Way Is Essex or Geordie Shore. Chelsea can be quite beautiful to watch, and that’s nothing to do with us!

There are some beautifyl shots of London.

Spencer: Some of the shots of London are from a camera strapped to my car when I’ve been driving around. Because they need me in the mirror shots. So I’m driving around and I have the monitor next to me and I’m watching and thinking this is going to look beautiful. It feels nice to be a part of that.

Jamie: I think also, they have a really good mixture of drama and reality. It’s a dramality!

Hello Oxford English Dictionary!

Spencer: Copyrighting that! It’s difficult to get it right the first time. The show lacks, in my opinion, a few things. The Hills is incredibly popular but it also lacks some things. It’s about finding the right balance of real lives and emotions and drama. Without being Eastenders.

Jamie: If you watch the first episode of the Hills, the filming is terrible. But you were intrigued by it. The same goes for Made In Chelsea, there’s a big difference between the first and second seasons.

Spencer: It’s the whole fly on the wall scenario, people watch Big Brother because they like seeing people be natural. Our show many not come across as natural or real as we’ve just woken up but the friendships and relationships couldn’t be more real.

That’s why people care.

Spencer: Otherwise it would be shit. I also believe that Hugo cries in the next episode…

Does he?! Brilliant!

Spencer: That’s real for you, I’m not sure he could turn it on like that, especially with a camera in his face.

Do you think you could cry on tap?

Jamie: Do you want me to cry now?

Yes please.

Spencer: Think of your biscuit factory burning down…

Hannah Tries: Dressing herself in India 
Picture the scene. You’re in a club named Lola’s. It’s Wednesday. The DJ has just finished playing that song which goes, “to the window, to the wall, ‘til the sweat drops down my balls…” Your friend is in front of you, grinding on a boy she barely knows. Rihanna comes on and she begins mouthing, “sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me,” seductively towards him. He doesn’t notice. He’s not looking at her face. Sound familiar? I thought so…

 
As I write this, I am sat cross legged on the floor of a rooftop café in Varanassi, India. A bead of sweat swells at the base of my neck, gathering momentum down my back until it hits and soaks into the top of my trousers. The pen feels slippery in my hand.

 
I am drinking a coffee which tastes like soil and there is grime embedded in every single one of my pores. There is mud (I say mud, although it is actually more likely to be poo – in India there is a saying: “if in doubt, it’s probably poo”) ingrained in my shoes. I smell. I’ve never smelt so bad, but, you know what; it feels amazing.

 
There is no point in wearing makeup here in Varanassi, as it is so humid that it would slide down your face the moment you flip flop out of the door. Due to the holiness of the city, there is also no point in wearing anything but drab baggy clothes. Loose is a must. Tourists and locals alike are a potpourri of drudge colours. Everyone is equally drab. As a result, there is no boob-envy in Varanassi; there is no worry about washboard abs, no stress about the cellulite on your thighs. It is refreshing.

 
In the western world, we are constantly bombarded with images of perfection. Without even realising it, we are groomed towards self-improvement. We moisturise. We pluck. We push up. We suck in. Our crusade towards flawlessness is never ending. It’s exhausting.
 

Sometimes we are in danger of wearing so much makeup, that we lose the definition of our faces. A friend of mine has been with her boyfriend for over two years and yet she has never let him see her without foundation. This is an improvement, however; it took her a year to lose the mascara, the blusher, the concealer, the…list goes on.

 
Another friend has a figure which you would happily swap your entire collection of Kurt Geiger’s for. However, the crazy girl pads her bra so much that her double A’s look more like double D’s. God knows what she puts down there; chicken fillets, tissues, socks, guinea pigs… It’s quite a feat of engineering, believe me.

 
Now, I am not deluded. I am aware that I would not be able to rock up to a club in baggy trousers, caked in cow poo. I would probably be refused entry even if I had plucked up the courage to leave my house sans makeup. There is a time and a place to be in a state of “disgusting skank”. But we should remember the beauty in it from time to time.

Hannah Tries: Dressing herself in India 

Picture the scene. You’re in a club named Lola’s. It’s Wednesday. The DJ has just finished playing that song which goes, “to the window, to the wall, ‘til the sweat drops down my balls…” Your friend is in front of you, grinding on a boy she barely knows. Rihanna comes on and she begins mouthing, “sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me,” seductively towards him. He doesn’t notice. He’s not looking at her face. Sound familiar? I thought so…
 
As I write this, I am sat cross legged on the floor of a rooftop café in Varanassi, India. A bead of sweat swells at the base of my neck, gathering momentum down my back until it hits and soaks into the top of my trousers. The pen feels slippery in my hand.
 
I am drinking a coffee which tastes like soil and there is grime embedded in every single one of my pores. There is mud (I say mud, although it is actually more likely to be poo – in India there is a saying: “if in doubt, it’s probably poo”) ingrained in my shoes. I smell. I’ve never smelt so bad, but, you know what; it feels amazing.
 
There is no point in wearing makeup here in Varanassi, as it is so humid that it would slide down your face the moment you flip flop out of the door. Due to the holiness of the city, there is also no point in wearing anything but drab baggy clothes. Loose is a must. Tourists and locals alike are a potpourri of drudge colours. Everyone is equally drab. As a result, there is no boob-envy in Varanassi; there is no worry about washboard abs, no stress about the cellulite on your thighs. It is refreshing.
 
In the western world, we are constantly bombarded with images of perfection. Without even realising it, we are groomed towards self-improvement. We moisturise. We pluck. We push up. We suck in. Our crusade towards flawlessness is never ending. It’s exhausting.
 
Sometimes we are in danger of wearing so much makeup, that we lose the definition of our faces. A friend of mine has been with her boyfriend for over two years and yet she has never let him see her without foundation. This is an improvement, however; it took her a year to lose the mascara, the blusher, the concealer, the…list goes on.
 
Another friend has a figure which you would happily swap your entire collection of Kurt Geiger’s for. However, the crazy girl pads her bra so much that her double A’s look more like double D’s. God knows what she puts down there; chicken fillets, tissues, socks, guinea pigs… It’s quite a feat of engineering, believe me.
 
Now, I am not deluded. I am aware that I would not be able to rock up to a club in baggy trousers, caked in cow poo. I would probably be refused entry even if I had plucked up the courage to leave my house sans makeup. There is a time and a place to be in a state of “disgusting skank”. But we should remember the beauty in it from time to time.
"Women should look like women. A piece of cardboard has no sexuality."

— Alexander McQueen